Sunkist Sues Jersey Shore Cast For Using Copyrighted Shade of Orange

Jersey Shore orangeThe cast of Jersey Shore faces a lawsuit as they prepare for their final season of the popular MTV show. A spokesperson for Sunkist announced that the company is suing the stars and producers of the show for the use of their copyrighted shade of orange.

Sunkist spokesperson and health guru, Dr. Liz Applegate, held a press conference to announce the lawsuit. She told reporters that the company felt they had no other option since the Jersey Shore cast blatantly displays the color of their oranges on their bodies. “If this was just a matter of Sunkist orange faces and hands, we might be able to let this go but the cast of Jersey Shore wears very little clothing so we feel they are blatantly giving the finger to our copyright ownership.”

Jersey Shore creator, SallyAnne Salsano, is confused by the lawsuit. “I won’t lie. It’s not a coincidence the skin of our cast is that shade of orange. The tanning salon the cast goes to purposely uses Sunkist oranges as a base for the cast’s tans. But our hair department also uses Pam cooking oil to grease the men’s hair and you don’t see Pam suing us!”

BS Gossip talked to Gary Rodkin, President and CEO of ConAgra Foods, the parent company of Pam. Rodkin told us that he is aware Read the rest of this entry »

Big Bird Nesting with Oscar the Grouch After Nest Foreclosed

Big BirdAt the first presidential debate, Mitt Romney told the moderator that even though he loved Big Bird, he’d cut federal funding for PBS. That was a low blow to Big Bird, who has been rooming with Oscar the Grouch after his nest was seized by the banks last year.

Big Bird told BS Gossip that while he used to be part of America’s one percent, he lost most of his riches from bad investments and had his assets foreclosed after he couldn’t repay a loan on his luxury nest. “When I started out on Sesame Street, I lived in the nest you see me in on the show. But I upgraded to a luxury nest with eight eggrooms and six birdbaths and lived the good life until recently.”

After hearing Romney talk about cutting funding to PBS, Big Bird told us he’s scared of being laid off and not being able to pay for the measly accommodations he currently has. Big Bird said, “I’m rooming with Oscar the Grouch in his trash can. It’s filthy but at least I have rotten fruit and stinky diapers to lay my head on when I sleep. But I pay Oscar $400 a month to crash with him and if I lose my job, I honestly don’t know where I will come up with that rent.”

Up until Romney made his anti-PBS comments, Big Bird was an adamant Republican. He told us that with billions of birds aborted every year for the egg industry, he was hoping Romney would win so abortion would be finally Read the rest of this entry »

Lindsay Lohan Alleges Man Broke into Hotel Suite and Stole Her Career

Lindsay Lohan 1Lindsay Lohan called the police yesterday to report that a man had broken into her hotel room and stolen her career.

Lohan met the alleged thief in a hotel nightclub in New York. Lohan claims that the man followed her back to her hotel, barged into her room and stole her career. Lohan said, “I used to have a successful career that most actresses would kill for! I had it before and now it’s gone so that guy must have stolen it! I hope they throw this guy behind bars and throw away the key.”

The New York Police Department arrested the man and charged him with theft but released him and dropped the charges shortly after. An NYPD spokesperson told the press that there was no evidence that Lohan has had a career in the last few years so it’s not realistic a man she just met could have stolen it.

Lohan said, “I’m furious as hell they let that scum go! Of course I had a career yesterday… my face is plastered all over the internet almost every day! But I tried to log onto my computer after that thief came to my room and nothing would come up. So there you go… I’m all anyone is talking about earlier in the week and now there’s nothing about me on the internet at all!”

A member of the hotel told us, “We had an interruption with our wi-fi connection that day. It’s fixed now and I’m sure if Miss Lohan checks Read the rest of this entry »

Iran Boycotts Oscars To Avoid Offending Americans With Anti-Jesus Movie

Academy AwardThis week Iran announced that it would boycott the 2013 Academy Awards and not submit an Iranian film into the competition for the Best Foreign Film category. Last year’s Iranian film “A Separation” won the coveted award however this year they fear the selected film may offend and upset Americans.

The film, titled “An Angry Savior,” follows a resurrected Jesus Christ who travels to New York City and preys upon newborn babies to feed his lust for blood. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran, said that while he found the film entertaining and quite humorous, Americans would likely find it offensive and offending Americans is the last thing Iran wants to do. “To take a man that so many people worship and make a mockery out of him is shameful. We don’t want to bring any more attention to this film so we have decided not to participate in this year’s competition. And the man who made this hilarious but despicable film is awaiting death-by-stoning, along with the lowest scum of the earth; murderers and women drivers.”

“What we feared,” Ahmadinejad told us, “is that the film would incite violence and chaos in America once screening discs were viewed by Academy members.” He said, “We imagine that as soon as the film would be viewed in America Read the rest of this entry »

Peter Dinklage Refuses to Give Michael J. Fox Standing Ovation at Emmys

Peter DinklageWhen actor and Parkinson’s sufferer Michael J. Fox spoke at the 2012 Emmy Awards, everyone in the audience was seen rising to their feet to give him a well-deserved standing ovation. Everyone except one man – “Game of Thrones” actor and little person, Peter Dinklage.

Emmys host Jimmy Kimmel was shocked when he saw Peter Dinklage on the big screen appearing to be sitting when all of his peers were rising to their feet. “I was appalled. Michael is an inspiration to all of us. Does Peter think because he’s a little person, that excuses him for not giving another man with a disability kudos for his struggle? Not cool!”

Michael J. Fox himself was also taken aback. “To be honest, the standing ovation was a bit much. I was just presenting an award; I didn’t win anything. But when everyone in the room rose to their feet for me, it felt good – until I realized I didn’t see Peter standing in front of his seat. For Gods sake, the man also has a disability and he won’t even pander to mine?”

BS Gossip caught up to Dinklage after the show and asked him why he didn’t rise to his feet for Fox. His face suddenly got red and he said Read the rest of this entry »

Breaking Medical News! Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes Are D.I.T.S.

Lindsay and AmandaDNA tests from Lindsay Lohan after her latest hit and run incident revealed the actress suffers from a rare medical disorder and is a Driver Irregularity Tailgate Sufferer (DITS). The main symptoms of being a DITS are for its sufferers to drive irrationally, hit other vehicles and then flee the scene. DNA tests have also revealed that accident-prone actress Amanda Bynes also may be a DITS and that she might have even picked up the disorder from Lohan herself.

As BS Gossip previously reported, Lohan and Bynes both graduated from driving school at the Disneyland Theme Park’s bumper car rides. A Disneyland employee told us that after they got their drivers’ certificates laminated by Mickey Mouse, the two girls shared a milkshake to celebrate.

A doctor we spoke with said that since Bynes was relatively normal at the time, it’s not that farfetched that she caught the disorder from Lohan when they drank from the same straw. The doctor added, “Since it’s Lindsay Lohan we’re talking about, it’s scary to think what other diseases poor Amanda picked up when they shared that milkshake.”

Lohan and Bynes were both arrested this week for yet Read the rest of this entry »

Romney: A Vote for Obama is a Vote Against Breaking Bad

Romney and ObamaAs Mitt Romney slides in the polls, he has changed the political narrative from the economy to popular TV shows. This morning, the Republican leader told customers at an Arizona IHOP that if Barack Obama is reelected, TV shows like Breaking Bad might never make it to the air.

The popular AMC TV show “Breaking Bad” follows physics teacher Walter White, who is diagnosed with cancer. When his healthcare bill isn’t covered, he turns to a life of selling meth. Romney told the crowd that had Obama been President at the time “Breaking Bad” was created, Walter’s hospital bills would have been covered by Obamacare. “There would be no need for Walter to turn to crime since his bills would be covered and the show we all love would never have existed!” Romney went on to suggest some potentially fantastic TV shows may never be created due to Obama’s failed policies.

Obama didn’t take this suggestion lying down. The President responded by saying, “Romney is obviously not a real fan of the show. Otherwise, he would know that Walter White didn’t just turn to a life of crime to pay his hospital bills but also to raise money for his family in case he succumbed to the cancer. So saying my health care plan would have killed ‘Breaking Bad’ is ridiculous. Nice try Mitt, but the American people are smarter than you think. I guarantee that if I’m reelected, there will no shortage of terrific TV shows created.”

After hearing the President’s response, Romney, took the fight a step further. “It’s funny hearing the President say his policy wouldn’t affect great TV shows from being created. This is a President that supports abortion. If he was president in the late 60s, the mother of the ‘Breaking Bad’ creator, Vince Gilligan, could Read the rest of this entry »

Celebrities “Accidentally” Leak Risqué Photos to Add Twitter Followers

Alison PillEarlier this week, Alison Pill, an actress from HBO’s “The Newsroom,” posted a topless photo to her 20,000 Twitter followers. The photo was quickly deleted but not after it rapidly spread across the internet. Pill said she posted the photo “by accident” and meanwhile, she gained 5000 new followers, mostly guys hoping she would “accidentally” post another. Other celebrities are following suit and “accidentally” posting their own naked pictures to Twitter in hopes of raising their Twitter profile.

BS Gossip talked to editor Mark Golin. He told us that it is no accident celebrities are posting nude photos. “C’mon, how do you accidentally post anything? It’s a way for actors to increase their Twitter following and maybe even get some extra media exposure. People who don’t watch “The Newsroom’ probably never heard of Alison Pill before a topless picture of her was posted online. Now her boobs are all people are talking about! A stunt like this could get an actress better roles or even a higher paycheck. It’s quite brilliant grassroots marketing, when you think about it.”

Since Pill posted her picture on Twitter Read the rest of this entry »

Rihanna Denies Her New Tattoo of a Douchebag is Chris Brown

Rihanna Pop star Rihanna debuted a new tattoo this week. However, while the tattoo on her neck seemed to picture a douchebag, Rihanna denied the tattoo art was of her abusive ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown.

A friend of the ‘Fool in Love’ singer, who wished to remain anonymous, told us that she is perplexed. “The tattoo art obviously pictures a douchebag. A tattoo artist isn’t going to apply a tattoo that looks identical to Rihanna’s ex-boyfriend by accident. I don’t know why she is denying it.”

We walked around L.A. showing pedestrians and tourists an image of the douchbag tattoo and almost everyone we showed it to identified the image as Chris Brown. The only exception was a 93-year-old British lady who said the tattoo pictured “a bag of turds” before saying it also looked Read the rest of this entry »

Adorkable Surprise: iPhone 5 to Replace Siri with Zooey!

ZooeyGiven the hugely popular iPhone commercials where actress Zooey Deschanel shows off iPhone’s voice assistant Siri, it shouldn’t be too big a surprise that the new version of the iPhone will replace Siri altogether with a similar feature called Zooey.

BS Gossip has learned that when Apple launches the iPhone 5, Siri will be replaced with a similar function, featuring the voice of “New Girl” star, Zooey Deschanel. The new feature will not just converse with iPhone users but will provide users with adorkable replies.

We played around with a prototype we acquired and the results were adorkable indeed. When we asked Zooey where the nearest playground was, Zooey’s response was “You’re going to a playground? Can I come? I love the swings!” When asked what the weather is forecasted to be, she replied “Oh no! It’s supposed to rain. But that does mean we can splash around in the puddles together! Yay!” And when we asked Zooey to recommend a good horror movie, she responded, “Silly you! Horror movies are scary! Why not watch a cute romantic comedy? I hear ‘500 Days of Summer’ is really cute! He he.”

An insider at Apple told us that before Apple created Zooey, they considered replacing Siri with Samuel, based on the popularity of the Samuel L. Read the rest of this entry »