Lindsay Lohan Alleges Man Broke into Hotel Suite and Stole Her Career

Lindsay Lohan 1Lindsay Lohan called the police yesterday to report that a man had broken into her hotel room and stolen her career.

Lohan met the alleged thief in a hotel nightclub in New York. Lohan claims that the man followed her back to her hotel, barged into her room and stole her career. Lohan said, “I used to have a successful career that most actresses would kill for! I had it before and now it’s gone so that guy must have stolen it! I hope they throw this guy behind bars and throw away the key.”

The New York Police Department arrested the man and charged him with theft but released him and dropped the charges shortly after. An NYPD spokesperson told the press that there was no evidence that Lohan has had a career in the last few years so it’s not realistic a man she just met could have stolen it.

Lohan said, “I’m furious as hell they let that scum go! Of course I had a career yesterday… my face is plastered all over the internet almost every day! But I tried to log onto my computer after that thief came to my room and nothing would come up. So there you go… I’m all anyone is talking about earlier in the week and now there’s nothing about me on the internet at all!”

A member of the hotel told us, “We had an interruption with our wi-fi connection that day. It’s fixed now and I’m sure if Miss Lohan checks the internet now, she’ll find lots of people talking about her.”

The hotel employee was right. Lindsay checked her internet connection today and every entertainment gossip site she pulled up had articles blasting her for her bad driving, laziness on film sets and substance abuse problems. Lohan said, “My career is back! Yay! That jerk must have snuck it back in my room when I wasn’t looking.”

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