Iran Boycotts Oscars To Avoid Offending Americans With Anti-Jesus Movie

Academy AwardThis week Iran announced that it would boycott the 2013 Academy Awards and not submit an Iranian film into the competition for the Best Foreign Film category. Last year’s Iranian film “A Separation” won the coveted award however this year they fear the selected film may offend and upset Americans.

The film, titled “An Angry Savior,” follows a resurrected Jesus Christ who travels to New York City and preys upon newborn babies to feed his lust for blood. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran, said that while he found the film entertaining and quite humorous, Americans would likely find it offensive and offending Americans is the last thing Iran wants to do. “To take a man that so many people worship and make a mockery out of him is shameful. We don’t want to bring any more attention to this film so we have decided not to participate in this year’s competition. And the man who made this hilarious but despicable film is awaiting death-by-stoning, along with the lowest scum of the earth; murderers and women drivers.”

“What we feared,” Ahmadinejad told us, “is that the film would incite violence and chaos in America once screening discs were viewed by Academy members.” He said, “We imagine that as soon as the film would be viewed in America, people would take to the streets, rioting and possibly committing and arson and killing of innocents.” We told Ahmadinejad that wasn’t likely and that many offensive works of art are seen in America every year. He asked what the reaction to those works was and we told him that they did cause people to be offended but then they went on about their day. We told him that occasionally someone would start a petition on Change.org or a page on Facebook. Ahmadinejad shook his head in confusion and said, “That’s it? I do not understand! No dignitaries would be bound and burned to death on the streets? What kind of crazy society do you people live in?”

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