Jocks Ambush Nerds at Comic Con

Comic Con For years, jocks have beat up nerds but have never had the last laugh, due to their lack of intellect. But when it was realized that all of America’s nerds were to be gathered in one convention hall in San Diego, they plotted the ultimate wedgie-fest.

Flash Armstrong, a recent high school graduate and football quarterback, led the rebellion. He told us that throughout high school, he locked many nerds in their own lockers and gave out more wedgies than he could count, but in the end was always outsmarted by the nerds. So when he realized they were all congregated at Comic Con, he forced a nerd to show him how to use social media and was able to gather together thousands of jocks from all over America.

Armstrong told us, “We didn’t even have to set a trap. All these nerds and geeks and dorks are all together in one conference center. No jock could turn down this opportunity to finally have the upper foot.”

Unfortunately for Armstrong and the thousands of dimwits who flew across the country in hopes of smashing as many pairs of glasses as they could get under their shoes, when they got there with their “Occupy Comic Con” signs, they realized the nerds had outwitted them once again. Armstrong told us, “There were hundreds or maybe even thousands of superheroes standing outside, ready for us. I guess the brace-faces called in the Avengers and the Justice League to protect them. We knew we were no match for Captain American and Betty Boop so we retreated. Once again, those doofuses have outsmarted us. But mark my words… we will have our revenge!”

BS Gossip found Iron Man lined up among other heroes inside the San Diego Convention Center and asked him how he felt about the jocks retreating just at the sight of him and his comrades. Iron Man looked confused and just said, “This is the line-up for Joss Whedon autographs, right?” We confirmed with a Comic Con worker that it was and got in line. Screw this story! After standing in line for seven hours, we’ll have Joss Whedon’s signature on a napkin! How awesome is that?!

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