Addicted Gamers Furious at Angry Birds

Angry BirdsThe lives of millions of people around the world are consumed by the extremely addictive game “Angry Birds.” Until now, addicts have been able to turn off their smart phones to escape their addiction at home but the announcement that “Angry Birds” will be available to play on home video game consoles is enraging fans!

An “Angry Birds” addict, who asked to be named only as “Dave,” told us the announcement is a slap in the face to addicts like himself. “I lost my job because I couldn’t stop playing the game on my smart phone at the office. I play 14 hours a day as it is and my only respite is watching Blu-rays in the evenings. Even when I’m watching movies, if I see a pig on the screen, it takes everything out of me not to slingshot the remote at my TV. But now, when I put a Blu-ray into my PS3, I don’t know if I will have the will power to not click on the ‘Angry Birds’ icon and spend the small remainder of my free time pandering to my addiction.”

Morris Kennedy is a stay-at-home dad. His wife takes his iPhone with her to work during the day so he can focus on caring for the kids. But now that “Angry Birds” is coming to home video game consoles, he fears drastic consequences. “What is my wife supposed to do? Unplug the XBOX every morning and take it to work with her in her purse? It won’t fit in her purse! I’m going to have to sit down with my wife and discuss giving the kids up for adoption. It’s in their best interest. I know I won’t have the strength to feed them or pick them up from school if those damn birds and pigs are in my living room all day!”

Activision President and CEO, Robert Kotick, talked to BS Gossip about the concerns of “Angry Birds” addicts. He told us that he understands their concerns but all versions of the game have been available to play on the iPad for years so he suggests that addicts cope with the game being available on home consoles in a similar fashion to how they deal with avoiding the game on their iPads.

We asked “Dave” why having the game available to play on home video game consoles is any different than it being accessible for the iPad. His jaw dropped open and after a moment, he said, “It’s available for the iPad?! I had no idea! Life, I bid you farewell. I have pigs to kill!”

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