Betty White Stands Up for Loud Lovemakers

Betty WhiteResidents of the luxurious Beverly Hills Estates complex are petitioning to have a young couple evicted for their loud lovemaking sessions. But one resident, actress Betty White, enjoys hearing the couple copulate and is standing up for them to stay.

The petition states that the couple’s lovemaking sessions last hours and are performed several times each day and night. The couple leaves the windows open and unless the volume for people’s stereos is pumped up, the moaning and groaning can be heard in all the units.

While this has most residents fuming, White welcomes the distraction. “I think it’s wonderful. They sound so happy. And to be honest, for a woman my age, it brings back fond memories of some of the randier moments of my youth.”

White, now 90 years old, is feared in the complex and the strata council is reluctant to ruffle her feathers by evicting the loud lovers. But that has not so famous residents like Peter Swanson fuming. He told us, “Why should one woman’s opinion outweigh those of everyone else? What’s she going to do anyways? She’s 90 years old for gods sake! I don’t understand why people are scared of going up against her?” Peter Swanson’s decapitated head was found near the Hollywood sign early this morning. The remainder of his body has not yet been found.

We asked White why she was fighting so hard for the couple to stay. She told us the lovemaking brings her joy. “To be honest, it makes feel like a young woman again. When I hear them cavorting, I think, ‘I’ll have whatever she’s having in an extra large!’”

White was also upset to hear about Peter Swanson’s decapitation. She said, “It’s a mystery what happened to the poor man. Regardless, it’s very sad. That man always had such a good head on his shoulders.”

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.