Archive for June 2012

Katie Holmes Joins Cruise’s Exes in ShortWatchers Support Group

Katie and TomKatie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise on Friday and BS Gossip has learned that she has since joined Cruise’s ex-wives in the ShortWatchers Support Group.

A source provided pictures from the group, with Holmes being embraced by Nicole Kidman and Mimi Rogers. We were told that the women joined the group after each of their marriages failed to share their tough experiences being married to a man shorter than them.

Holmes had opened up to the group and told them that that looking down at the bottom of Tom’s head has become more difficult as he began to go gray. She said, “At first it didn’t bother me as I was so giddy that I was married to my schoolgirl crush. But as his hair began to change color, seeing his graying hair from a birds-eye view reminded me that I’d soon need to be spoon-feeding the man that I was married to. And that will require a lot of bending over.”

Kidman and Rogers have found the group very supportive Read the rest of this entry »

White Person Accidentally Watches Tyler Perry Movie

MadeaIt’s shocking to hear but it was something that was eventually bound to happen. Ten years’ after Tyler Perry’s first movie debuted in theaters, a white man has accidentally watched one of his movies.

Jake Peterson bought a ticket to go see “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” but walked into the wrong theatre. Peterson told us, “As soon as I sat down, I thought something wasn’t right. For a movie about a slave owner, there were a lot of African Americas in the audience. And then when the trailers played, I expected to see some previews of upcoming action movies but instead saw trailers for movies I’d never in a million years go to.”

When the movie started and the title came up on the screen, Peterson knew he was watching “Madea’s Witness Protection” but remained in his seat so he wouldn’t appear racist. While Peterson didn’t say he disliked the movie, he said it was hard for him to follow and he didn’t get any of the jokes. “Everyone was laughing and crying but I’m not sure how a man dressed in drag is particularly funny or how the soap opera love affairs were found moving. I guess it’s a black thing. And that’s cool… I just don’t get it myself.”

When Perry was told a white person had seen the movie, he couldn’t stop laughing. He said, “That’s hilarious! Poor guy. Obviously the movie wasn’t Read the rest of this entry »

Perez Hilton Furious After His Deodorant Brand Made Public

Perez HiltonCelebrity gossip mogul, Perez Hilton, is furious after a photo of him holding a can of Paul Sebastian Deodorant for Men at a convenience store cashier was made public. The photo was self-taken and posted by Hilton on Facebook, set to only display to his friends. However when one of his Facebook friends “liked” the photo, the picture was made public to all of her 787 friends, one of which sold it to the celebrity gossip magazine, Us Weekly.

Hilton expressed his anguish to BS Gossip. “What deodorant a man wears is a very personal thing. That’s why I set the photo to private. But now everyone in the world knows! I’m literally horrified. I’m afraid what’s going to leak out next… a picture of me without eyeliner? It gives me shivers to even think about it.”

Hilton is mad at Facebook for their poor privacy settings but most of his anger is aimed at Us Weekly. Hilton said, “What right do they have to publish this private photo? And to pay someone cash to acquire it?! It makes me sick! The people at Us are vultures! I don’t care if the magazine’s Read the rest of this entry »

Zach Braff Signs Up for JDate

Zach BraffActor Zach Braff, known for his starring role on TV’s “Scrubs” and his highly praised film “Garden State,” has decided to take the next step in meeting his soulmate: he’s signed up for JDate.

Braff joined the Jewish dating site after tiring of his parents pestering him to be a mensch and finally bring home a nice Jewish girl. Braff told BS Gossip that though he has dated a number of girls that aren’t Jewish, as he gets older, he’s realizing settling down with a girl who shares his background might be nice.

Unfortunately, Zach has yet to find love online. He said that he has gone on a number of JDates, however he hasn’t really clicked with any of the girls yet. “With most girls, on a first date, they bring me a DVD copy of ‘Garden State’ to sign, which is fine. But I don’t know what it is with Jewish chicks but they all bring me VHS copies of ‘The Babysitter’s Club.’ It kind of freaks me out because most people don’t even know I had a part in that, yet alone still own a VHS copy of it!”

Braff is thinking about quitting JDate and either going on another dating site or trying more traditional dating again. Talking to Shiri Appleby, actress and Jewish ex-girlfriend of Braffs’, she cleared up the big VHS mystery. “Oh, back at Camp Read the rest of this entry »

Adam Carolla Doesn’t Hate Women… He’s Transgendered!

Adam CarollaComedian Adam Carolla has been feeling the scorn of women and homosexuals everywhere since his appearance on “The Talk” when he said that he thinks woman aren’t funny and that telling gay jokes is okay since they get laughs. However, now Carolla has dropped a bombshell on the world, revealing that he’s trangendered!

Carolla expressed to BS Gossip that he doesn’t hate woman or gay people because deep down inside, he fits into both those categories. He explained, “I used to physically be a woman but ever since I was a little kid, I knew I wasn’t born in the right body. I was lucky enough to have transgender surgery during the summer when I was thirteen and was home schooled for a year in a new neighborhood so until now, that was a secret only I knew about. But I feel the need to defend myself and want to express that it’s only the male part of me that is actually funny. The female part of me is very unfunny, just like most woman. And I should know because I was one.”

Now many of the comedians who had denounced Carolla are offering their apologies. Ellen Degeneres commended Carolla for going public with his sexual orientation. Sarah Silverman admitted she wouldn’t have been so hard on the guy if she knew he once had a vagina. And Joan Rivers said she Read the rest of this entry »

Dish TV Allows Viewers to Skip Bad Shows, Only Watch Ads

DishMajor television networks continue fighting Dish in Court to ban its DVRs with their patented AutoHop technology that allows their customers to skip all ads with one click on their remote. Now Dish has switched its course, saying that they will instead program the DVRs to allow viewers to skip entire episodes of bad TV shows and only watch the ads.

Dish’s attorney, Peter Bicks, told BS Gossip that this new direction would still benefit their customers but not affect the network’s advertising rates. “There are lots of terrible shows on TV. ‘Jersey Shore’ comes to mind as does that horrible new celebrity dating show, ‘The Choice.’ And virtually everything on CNN. After revisiting this, we believe skipping bad shows is preferable to viewers than skipping the ads, which are short and to the point.” He added that he thinks Dish will increase its subscriber rate when the Superbowl comes around. “Now you don’t have to Read the rest of this entry »

Betty White Stands Up for Loud Lovemakers

Betty WhiteResidents of the luxurious Beverly Hills Estates complex are petitioning to have a young couple evicted for their loud lovemaking sessions. But one resident, actress Betty White, enjoys hearing the couple copulate and is standing up for them to stay.

The petition states that the couple’s lovemaking sessions last hours and are performed several times each day and night. The couple leaves the windows open and unless the volume for people’s stereos is pumped up, the moaning and groaning can be heard in all the units.

While this has most residents fuming, White welcomes the distraction. “I think it’s wonderful. They sound so happy. And to be honest, for a woman my age, it brings back fond memories of some of the randier moments of my youth.”

White, now 90 years old, is feared in the complex and the strata council is reluctant to ruffle her feathers by evicting the loud lovers. But that has not so famous residents like Peter Swanson fuming. He told us Read the rest of this entry »

Johnny Depp Splits with Vanessa Paradis… to Wed Tim Burton

Depp and BurtonBoth happy and sad news are being reported in Hollywood today. The sad news is that after fourteen years and two kids together, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis are separating. The happy news is Depp now plans to marry Tim Burton!

After years of being one of the most powerful couples in Hollywood, President Barack Obama’s change of heart on legal same-sex marriage has finally prompted Depp to leave longtime partner Paradis to marry Burton, who he calls his soul mate.

When asked how much he loves Burton, Depp replied, “I’d do anything for him. ANYTHING! Whether he wants me to paint my face white, scotchtape knives to my fingers or sing ballads while slitting a man’s throat in a barber chair, I’ll do it! And I’ll tell you that sure does spice things up when we role play!”

Burton, who has also left his long-time partner, Helena Bonham Carter, is planning to throw an elaborate wedding. He told us, “I’m thinking lots of 3D cardboard Read the rest of this entry »

Jackson Family Offers Around-the-Clock Doctor for Conrad Murray

The lawyer of Conrad Murray, the doctor spending time in L.A. County Jail for his involvement in the death of pop singer Michael Jackson, said his client’s health is failing in prison. The late legend’s family has a solution – a doctor assigned to sedate him around the clock.

Murray’s attorney, Valerie Wass, told BS Gossip that her client is in extreme physical pain and that the stress of imprisonment is taking a heavy toll on his body. She said he’s suffering from constant headaches and stress. But she is optimistic about his recovery after Katherine Jackson, mother of the late singer, offered to pay for a doctor to give him care at all times.

Wass said, “The Jackson family wants to thank Dr. Murray for the years of service that he had provided for Michael. They feel that since he spent so much of his time caring for Michael, it’s time they returned the favor in his own time of need.”

Murray, however, doesn’t want the Jackson’s help. He said, “How would having a 24/7 doctor help anyone with their problems? Who does that? Sedating me isn’t going to help me with my pain! Who do Read the rest of this entry »

Adam Sandler Pledges To Only Make Bad Movies Going Forward

Adam SandlerExecutives at Sony Pictures may not have been smiling after “That’s My Boy” came in fifth in its first weekend in theaters and brought in a measly $13 Million, and they sure weren’t after hearing Adam Sandler’s new business plan – to make only bad movies going forward.

Sandler told us that like James Cameron’s recent announcement that he will only make “Avatar” movies going forward, he’s moving ahead with what people expect from him – only bad movies. He explained, “I made a couple great films in my career. But people don’t go to Adam Sandler movies to see intelligent and sophisticated films like ‘Jack & Jill’ or ‘Little Nicky’. They want poop jokes. And fart jokes. And more poop jokes. And from here on out, that’s what they’re going to get.”

Sandler is already planning his next stinker, “Been There, Dung That,” about a father of two who switches bodies with a dog turd. “It’s going to be especially terrible,” Sandler told us, “since this happens just after his wife dies. He needs to train the turd how to be the great dad he never was so it can Read the rest of this entry »