Mel Gibson’s Hateful Rant Against Damn Shoes

Mel GibsonFormer respectable actor Mel Gibson has once again been recorded spouting hate speech. His target this time? Shoes!

The incident, caught on iPhone video by a tourist, occurred yesterday at the Santa Monica Pier. Gibson was strolling down the boardwalk eating a vanilla ice cream cone (he’s not partial to chocolate) with a friend. Sources say Gibson’s anger was sparked when three men walked by in a row wearing Crocs. He turned to his friend and yelled, “What the hell is with those damn shoes? Everywhere you go in California, you can’t get away from them! Those f—ing shoes are everywhere!”

A witness said, “It was really crass. It’s obvious that he’s been holding in his hatred for those shoes for a long time and something in him cracked and he let all of that hatred out.”

The video recorded Gibson ranting for over five minutes. He turned towards his speechless friend and yelled, “Those f—ing shoes are practically running the country! They’re all over the TV and in the movies! Those shoes are taking over the world!”

His friend wanted anonymity so we’ll only refer to her as J. Foster. She said, “I’ll admit it was disturbing at the time. I know Mel has a temper but to blame all the country’s problems on shoes… it’s a bit ridiculous. But I know he doesn’t have a hateful bone in all of his body”.

Michelle Butterworth, President of the American College of Foot and Ankle Surgeons, denounced Gibson’s comments. “Such hatred for comfortable and reliable footwear attempts to take America’s progress back decades.” Butterworth demanded an apology from Gibson, especially for the suggestion that all those shoes be “rounded up and thrown in the furnace.”

While J. Foster stands by Gibson, she does admit he has some anger issues and plans to recommend an anger management therapist that she knows. Foster said, “Dr. Isaac Levinstein is a great therapist and unless he’s wearing Crocs, I see no reason at all why Mel won’t like him.”

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