Man Fired After Coming up Blank for SW & the Huntsman Porn Spoof Title

Snow WhiteUp until recently, Derek Kwasky had one of the easiest jobs in America. He worked for Asme Adult Entertainment Inc. and his official title was “Movie Title Creator.” It was Derek’s job to come up with titles for all of Asme’s films, which were all spoofs of Hollywood blockbusters. But after 22 years of instantly being able to spew out multiple suggestions for porn spoof titles, he came up blank for the porn version of Snow White and the Huntsman.

Kwasky’s boss, adult film producer Tyrone Small, explained. “Snow White and the Huntsman was announced by Universal almost two years ago. Usually Derek would come up with a title in ten seconds flat. For Forest Gump, he came up with ten suggestions in less than a minute. We eventually went with Foreskin Gump. He was awesome at his job but for some reason, he had problems with Snow White. But in the adult movie industry, the title is often slapped onto the film after the movie is completed so Derek had over a year to come up with a title. But he just couldn’t do it.”

Small said that Kwasky had come up with hundreds of titles throughout his career with Asme including In Deanna Jones, Shaving Ryan’s Privates, Riding Miss Daisy and Diddler on the Roof. But after he came up short on the porn version of Snow White and the Huntsman, Small was forced to let Kwasky go.

Kwasky’s former co-worker and friend Jake Fellow said, “This one should have been a no-brainer. I mean, c’mon!” But Kwasky hit a wall. Fellow said, “We were all throwing the guy hints ‘cause we wanted him to succeed but they didn’t get through. And it WAS his job so we couldn’t do it for him.”

Derek Kwasky has had a hard time getting over losing his job. Kwasky said, “When I found out the spoof title Asme went with, I bashed my forehead into my studio wall all night out of frustration. I felt like an idiot. They only changed one word of the original title and replaced it with what just happens to be my favorite vulgar description of lady genitalia. I would have fired me too!”

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