Justin Bieber Assaults Photographer with Wet Noodle

Justin BieberAllegations are being made that teen singer Justin Bieber physically assaulted a man with a wet noodle. The unarmed paparazzi photographer claimed he was struck in the face with the noodle after he tried to take pictures of Bieber and his girlfriend, Selena Gomez.

The photographer explained the situation. “I spotted the little runt walking through the shopping center with his girlfriend, grabbed my camera and started snapping pictures. All of a sudden, I felt something slimy slap my left cheek. At first I thought a piece of silly string had fallen off the ceiling but then I saw the Bieber kid holding this long wet noodle. Who does that? If you have a problem with me, punch me like a man. Don’t hide behind soggy pasta.”

Sources say that Bieber has had prior experiences of hitting people with wet noodles. An incident in Richmond, BC, Canada is noted when he allegedly hit a fellow teen with a wet noodle at a laser tag park.

Earlier, on the day of the most current incident, Bieber had been taking boxing lessons with heavyweight champion Mike Tyson. Tyson’s rep confirmed that Bieber’s manager had requested that he be “manned up” but said that after just one session, it can’t be expected he would use his fists in a fight rather than moist spaghetti.

The photographer was asked if celebrities had ever attacked him in the past. “Oh, yeah, lots of times. But they usually use their fists. I can only think of once when I was previously hit with a wet noodle. It was two wet noodles actually, as a number of years ago, both Olsen twins resorted to a pasta attack after I photographed them at an autograph signing. But that was a long time ago… I believe they were six.”

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